Lost Soul
by I-miss-chocolate
Summary: Different viewpoints of the host, starting with Ian during the bonus chapter. After watching the movie, and rereading the book, I wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling after Wanda was removed from Melanie. Might add more chapters for Melanie and Jamie.
1. Perspective

_A/N: Hi! this is my first venture into the world of Host stories. This idea wouldn't leave me alone, even though I've got a billion others that just won't let themselves be written. I figured if I write it, it will leave me alone, and I can move on to other projects. I've never written from 1st person before, so not sure how well this flows. A lot of the dialogue is from the bonus chapter, I just wanted to show Ian's side of things, his thoughts and emotions during his conversation with Melanie. I started with him, but I also have chapters for Melanie and Jamie right now. Depending on if anyone likes this, I'll add theirs, and maybe more if inspiration strikes. _

_Sadly, don't own. Just playing with the characters a bit because they just wouldn't leave me alone. Please don't sue, you won't get anything good from me. lol _

_ Anyways, here you go... Hope you like it. _

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I rolled over, reaching out to Wanda, wanting to hold her in my arms more. _I know we can figure out a solution, I won't let her leave me_, I thought. My hands touched only the bed, a pillow. I sat up quickly, looking around the small room. _Where is she? Where would she go?_ I replayed the events of last night in my head as I tried to figure out where she would go in the middle of the night. I truly love you, Ian. Her words echoed in my head and I suddenly realized what that was, a goodbye. _She was trying to tell me goodbye_. Jumping out of bed, I rushed for the door, throwing it out of the way before running down the tunnels.

_Why did she sneak out? How could she do this to me, to us?_ The questions ran through my head as I moved, though I already knew the answer. She thought she was doing the right thing, by sacrificing herself. I prayed as I rushed through the dark tunnel, prayed that I wasn't too late. I turned the corner, and someone slammed in to me, making me falter. _Wanda! Thank God, I'm not too late!_ I started to smile down at her, but paused. Something was wrong, she was different. She… wasn't Wanda, not anymore. I was holding Melanie in my arms. I released her and stepped back, my world crumbling. _No! Too late, I didn't save her._ The words repeated in my mind as I realized I lost my love, my partner. I stood frozen, staring at this stranger in shock.

Her voice broke through my shock, rambling, sounding so unlike my Wanda. "She's fine. She's in a tank. We'll get her a new body. She'll be fine, she's fine," Melanie whispered.

_A tank?_ _She's still here at least._ I would have killed Howe if he had already taken her to be shipped off to some other planet. I see Melanie reaching out to me, then stopping. I realized she was almost as upset as me. I went to touch her, comfort her, but I stopped myself. I couldn't hold this stranger. I needed Wanda, she needed me.

"Do you want to go to her?" Melanie asked, stopping my internal debate. "She's with Doc."

I didn't say anything, just began walking, my body moving without thought towards Wanda. My thoughts ran wild as I moved, thinking about the last few days. Melanie made me falter when she broke the silence.

"I couldn't stop her."

_Couldn't?_ "Did you want to?" I spoke carefully, trying to keep my emotions even.

"Yes."

I was surprised by this. "Why?"

"Because, she's my best friend," she answered.

"I wondered about that." _Of course Melanie had liked her, who wouldn't?_ I could tell she was confused by my answer, so I explained. "I wondered if anyone who really knew her could not love her. You knew her every thought." You know her better than I do, I added silently. I wondered how close they were.

"Yes, I love her."

I could tell she was speaking the truth, heard the honesty in her words. "But you must have wanted your body back?"

"Not if it meant losing Wanda."

I froze again, her words surprising me. _She truly is the purest soul. Even Melanie, trapped inside her own mind, didn't want to lose her._ Suddenly I was moving faster. I had to be with her, to make sure she didn't leave. My voice surprised me, it was more of growl. "She is not leaving this planet."

Melanie told me that was never her intention, and I slowed again, confusion filling me. I stopped completely as Melanie explained Wanda's plan, how she had lied, wanted to die instead of stay with me. Confusion faded away as anger took its place. "How could she think of doing that to me?" _Why, why would she want to die?_ I didn't understand the crazy idea; I barely listened as Melanie tried to explain Wanda's thoughts. Her words didn't take away the horrible pain that I had. "I didn't think she was such a quitter," I snapped.

Melanie snapped back at me, angry. She tried to explain that Wanda blamed herself for Wes, that she was so torn, didn't think she could live, but not wanting to leave this world.

"But she didn't have anything to do with that," I argued, but she cut me off.

"Try telling her that!" Melanie paused, taking a deep breathe, and then spoke again. "Then having to face the seeker. It was tougher than you know. But more than any of that, loving you while loving Jared. Loving Jamie and thinking he needed me more than her. Loving me. Feeling like she was hurting us all just by breathing. I don't think you can understand what that was like for her. You can't imagine how she… she," Melanie cut off, her words clearly painful.

I thought about everything she said, trying to understand what Wanda must have been feeling. How trapped she must have felt by all her conflicting emotions. "I think I know what you mean." I tried to let my anger go. It wasn't Wanda's fault she was so selfless, it was part of why I loved her. We continued walking again, and I listened to her tell me about how Jared had followed them, how he saved Wanda. I felt a stab of pain at that. Jared had known she was lying, had known something was wrong, but I had missed it. I slept while she went off to her planned death. I hated myself in that moment, cursing my stupidity. Then another thought occurred to me. "Do you think she'll be angry with us when she wakes up?" She had wanted to die, wanted to stop existing, and we were ignoring her wishes. Not that I cared. I wasn't going to let her die, even if she hated me. Melanie snorted at that ridiculous idea. "Unhappy, then?" _I don't want her miserable because we've forced our love on her._

"She'll be fine."

Since we were talking so freely now, I had more questions, more worries. Nobody could answer them for me like Melanie. She was more talkative than Wanda. "What you said before, about her loving all of you, and me…" I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to finish my question, afraid of the answer.

"Yes?" She prompted.

I decided to just get it over with. "Do you think she really does love me, or was just responding to the fact that I love her? Wanting to make me happy?" I tensed, not sure I wanted the answer. "I'm only asking because I don't want to be a burden when she wakes up." Her silence only made me panic more. "Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I want the truth."

Finally, she spoke, telling me she doesn't think I'd understand Wanda's feelings. I tell her to tell me anyways. "It's strong, Ian. The way she feels about you is something else. She loves this world, but so much of the reason she couldn't leave was you. She thinks of you as her anchor. You gave her a reason to finally stay in one place after a lifetime of wandering."

Oh. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Then that's alright." I felt so relieved; the panic was gone, replaced by joy. Now I just had to get her back so I could show her how much I loved her. "Don't rush." I explained when Melanie questioned my comment. I didn't want them to rush in getting a new body for Wanda. I wanted her to be happy, in a body perfect for her. "I can wait," I told her. I could hear the surprise in her voice when she questioned my not going with them. "You know what she wants. I would rather be here with her." Finally, I see the light ahead, and we enter the room. Jared is leaning against a cot, on it is a small silver container with Wanda safely inside. I picked her up carefully, letting a small sigh escape as the emotions all run through me: relief, love, and as I saw Melanie and Jared embrace, a twinge of jealousy that I was without love so they could have theirs. _Soon. We'll be together again soon, Wanda._

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_Well, there you go. I have 2 more chapters from Melanie's and Jamie's viewpoints that I'll share if anyone is interested. _  
_I always love reading what you all think. Good, terrible? Please, let me know, so I know what is good, and what I need to work on._

_Hope you liked it_ :)


	2. Reunion

_Back again. Here's Melanie's POV. __Sorry it's so short, Melanie and Jared refused to cooperate. __Hope you like it. _

_Still don't own, I just wanna play with the characters a bit..._

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"Come on, Mel."

I pulled away from Jared slightly to look up at him. "What?"

"Let's get out of here," he said, smiling down at me. "Wanda is safe, Ian will watch over her."

Ian nodded his agreement, holding her container tightly to his chest, and gave us a tight smile. "Go."

I ran my fingers gently along her tank, saying a silent thank you to my sister. "We'll get you a new body as soon as possible, Wanda. You aren't going anywhere."

Jared tightened his hold on my hand and led me away from them, down the hall. I walked slowly, feeling guilt over leaving Wanda behind, but I told myself that Ian was the one that needed her right now. I had Jared, and Jamie. _Jamie! I have to tell Jamie. _I froze, Jared almost stumbling at my sudden stop.

"Mel?"

"Jamie. He doesn't know. I need to tell him."

"Alright, he should be in bed."

We walked quickly to our room, thankfully passing no-one on the way. I wasn't ready to meet everyone yet. We could deal with that in the morning. I paused outside the screen, afraid of Jamie's reaction. I know he would be happy to see me, but he also loved Wanda. She was his sister too. Taking a deep breath, I walked in after Jared moved the screen for me. Jamie was sleeping on the bed, and I approached him slowly. "Jamie," I called out softly, shaking his shoulder to wake him. Jared remained near the doorway, wanting to give us some room.

"Wanda? There you are. Where have you been?" Jamie asked, still half-asleep.

"No, Jamie," I said. "It's Mel." I could already feel the tears running down my face as he truly looked at me, sitting up quickly.

"Mel?" He threw his arms around me, hugging me tightly. We just held each other for a few minutes, before he pulled away. "Wait, where's Wanda? What happened?" He questioned, upset.

"She's in a container, Ian has her. Jamie, we'll get her a new body, as soon as possible," I promised, rushing the words out. "She wanted me to be free, but we're not going to lose her either."

"Oh." He was silent for a moment, clearly thinking about the situation. "Okay. Can I come? I want to help."

"I think Wanda would like that." I glanced at Jared, and he nodded in agreement.

"Good." He gave me a big smile, and then stood suddenly, surprising me.

"Jamie?"

"I'm gonna go see if I can sleep in Ian's room."

"Jamie, you don't have leave," I said. I was torn between feeling hurt that he would want to leave so soon, and shocked that he was mature enough to realize Jared and I would want to be alone.

He gave me a disbelieving look, glancing between Jared and me. "Sure. Goodnight, Mel. I'm really glad you're back," he said, hugging me again before grabbing his pillow and leaving.

I stared after him, stunned at the brief reunion. But then I realized that to him, I was always here. Jamie had accepted both me and Wanda, knowing we were both with him the whole time. Shaking my head, I forced my eyes away from the empty doorway, and turned to Jared. He had moved away from the wall, and came to stand above me, near the bed.

He crouched down, sitting in front of me. "You okay?"

I thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain all my conflicting emotions. "I, I don't know," I admitted. "I'm so used to just being a voice in the back of her mind, I don't know what to do with a whole body." I felt more tears fall down my face, and swiped them away quickly. "I feel so lost without her," I whispered. "I'm grateful for what she did, for giving me back to you, and then I feel guilty for being so happy."

Jared nodded slowly, not understanding all my feelings, but trying to be sympathetic. "What do you need? What can I do Mel?"

_No more talking. I need to just feel. _Instead of answering, I just leaned in to him, kissing him slowly. "Show me how much you missed me," I pleaded softly after I pulled away. "Make me feel alive again."

He grinned down at me. "I can do that," he murmured, leaning back in to kiss me.

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_There you go. Up next, Jamie. _

_I've got some excerpts from this story that I'll post separately with a higher rating. Still working out the kinks, and want to finish this before I start the next one, so it will be a bit before I start posting that one._

_As always, I love hearing what you all think _


	3. Goodnight

_Jamie's POV. Sorry it's so short. Jamie cooperates even less than Melanie. I have another couple chapters that show what else happens before Wanda returns, and then I think that's the end of this little story. Anyways, hope you like it._

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I laughed to myself as I walked down the dark tunnel. _How stupid does she think I am? Like I wouldn't understand that they want to be alone_.I paused for a second, thinking about what just happened. I hoped Melanie wouldn't be too upset that I left so fast. _I can catch up with Mel later, I always knew she was there, with Wanda. _Hoping that I hadn't hurt my sister's feelings, I continued on.

Reaching the room I wanted, I saw that the entrance was covered, so I knocked lightly. "Ian?" When he responded, I shoved one of the doors out of the way a bit, and poked my head through the opening. "Can I sleep here tonight? I want to give Melanie and Jared some space."

He frowned at me, looking sad for a second, but then he nodded. "Of course, kid, come in." He said, smiling at me. I could tell he was faking it, but he only spared me a quick glance and then turned his attention back to the little metal thing in his arms.

"Is that Wanda?" I asked, taking a step forward. His arms tightened around the container, so I knew it was. "Is she…alright?" She had made a huge sacrifice so I could have my sister back; I didn't want her to be miserable because of it.

"Doc and Candy say she is fine, she doesn't feel anything in there."

"That's good. I wouldn't want her to be sad or hurt at all." Ian nodded slowly, not even looking at me. "Mel says we are gonna get her a new body. And guess what? I get to go help pick one out for her. Cool, huh?"

"That's great Jamie. I'm sure she'd like that." I smiled, thinking it was funny that he and Mel said almost the same thing, but stopped as he continued. "Get a good one; you know what she would like."

"You're not coming?" _Doesn't he care about what she will look like once we get a new body for her?_

"No. I trust you. I'm going to stay here, and watch over Wanda."

"Okay. I won't let you down, either of you." I yawned, and Ian stopped staring at the metal thing in his arms and glanced at me.

"Come lay down Jamie, you can still get a couple hours of sleep. I'm sure we've got a long day ahead of us." He gestured to the bed, sliding down to the end of it so he could lean against the wall, making room for me to lie down.

"Thanks." I tossed my pillow down and tried to get comfy while leaving Ian enough room to lie down, if he wanted too. I guessed he'd probably sleep like that, if he slept at all. "Night Ian, night Wanda." I heard Ian laugh before I let my eyes close, grinning when I heard him wish us both goodnight too.

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_Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it. As always, love hearing what you think. A huge thank you to my reviewers! I always love to hear what you think...like I said, it's the only way I can work on things, and become better._


	4. Chapter 4

_Here's the next chapter. Back to Ian's POV. This one's a bit longer. Enjoy! _

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_Hurry up! What is taking them so long? I know I said I could wait, but this is ridiculous_. It had been two weeks since they had left, trying to find a new body for Wanda. I know they had to go far, making sure nobody could trace the missing soul back to the disappearances here. I gently ran my fingers along the top of the cryotank as I walked the tunnels, wishing that Jared, Mel and Jamie would hurry up and return. I was pulled out of my thoughts by someone shouting. I stopped, listening to the sounds get louder._ Finally! They're back! _I turned around, running back the way I had come to meet everyone in the large cavern.

I saw Jamie coming out of the tunnel first, bouncing excitedly, and then Mel, searching for me. We locked eyes, and she smiled, giving me a nod. That's when Jared appeared, carrying someone in his arms. I was moving forward before I knew it, my feet carrying me towards them. I met them as they crossed the cavern floor, already heading for Doc.

We were silent as we walked the long tunnel, I couldn't take my eyes off the beautiful creature Jared carried. She was perfect for Wanda. Innocent, angelic, a little young looking… I faltered slightly. _Was she even eighteen? Did they choose a child? What is wrong with them? _I hoped she just looked young. Not that it mattered; I would wait for her until she was ready. _If she still wants you_, my subconscious taunted. I shook my head to clear the dark thoughts away. Melanie had explained how Wanda felt about me; I didn't have to worry about that.

"What do you think?" Jamie questioned as we stepped into the light of the hospital.

"She's beautiful. You did great, Jamie. Thank you."

He beamed at me, clearly proud of his choice. "Jared said she looks so innocent, it's perfect, right? Just like Wanda."

"That's what I was thinking too."

"Can I watch? When you put her in?"

"You have to ask Melanie." I laughed as he ran over to her, hovering near the cot Jared was placing the body on.

I moved closer, still clutching the tank, and listened to them talking. "Please? I'll stay out of the way? I wanna see Wanda!"

"Jamie, we can't put Wanda in right now. We have to take the other soul out, and give this body a chance to wake up. It wouldn't be fair to either of them to put Wanda in a body that was still occupied by someone."

"Oh." His smile faded, and even though I had known this fact, I was saddened to. He was almost as eager as me to talk to her again. "Okay. But can I watch then? Please?"

Melanie sighed, but finally nodded. "Fine. But you have to promise to stay out of the way." He eagerly agreed, and Melanie told him to go sit by Doc's desk.

I stepped out of the way as Doc and Candy came forward, ready with an empty cryotank. I clutched Wanda tightly as they worked together quickly, removing the soul, and placing her carefully inside the tank. I watched as they healed the body, the wound quickly disappearing, and I felt bad that we would have to cut her again to implant Wanda if she didn't wake up.

I stood to the side, watching as everyone talked to the girl, seeing if she was still present, and if she would wake up. Jamie grew bored eventually, and left. I was anxious, already counting down the time until we could safely put Wanda in this new body, so I could hold her again, kiss her, and tell her how much I loved her. As night fell, I told everyone to go get some sleep. I would stay and watch her during the night.

They all agreed, but Doc said he or Candy would come back and check on her, and to let them know if there was any change. I nodded, barely noticing as they left the room. Melanie was last, pausing in front of me to gently touch the tank, and whispered something to Wanda. She was the only one I allowed to touch her besides me, and I knew I would be the one placing her in her new body when the time came. Once I was alone, I grabbed Doc's chair, and dragged it over to the cot. I settled in with Wanda and just looked at the still form on the bed. I let my thoughts wander, thinking about how Wanda would react when she woke up, if she would be happy. I hoped she would like this new body, because I could already imagine her there.

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up in surprise at Doc. I was so lost in thought that I hadn't heard him come in. "Any change?"

I looked back at the girl. "No, she hasn't moved at all." I felt bad that the person that used to belong in this body seemed to have been lost, but also grateful that Wanda wouldn't have to share her mind and body again. "How long should we wait?"

"I'd like to give her a couple of days. It's only right to give this girl a fighting chance. Of course, we don't want to risk any damage to her, so I won't go any further than that."

I nodded, thinking of poor Jodi, and what would have happened if Kyle hadn't agreed to let Sunny return. "I understand. I've waited over a month, a couple more days won't kill me," I said. "I'll let you watch over her, I'm gonna get a little sleep. Let me know if there's any change."

"Of course. Get some rest, Ian."

I stopped at the kitchen to grab a snack before heading towards the living areas. I entered quietly; sure that Jamie would once again be sleeping in my room. Moving silently across the room, I carefully laid down on the empty side of the bed, trying not to disturb the boy next to me. _We're really going to have to rethink the roommate situation once Wanda is back. I need to talk to Jeb, Jared and Mel in the morning_, I thought as I settled Wanda's tank against my chest and tried to sleep.

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_Hope you liked it :)_


	5. family

_Here you go... Last and Ian POV. Sorry it's so short and late. Had a terrible couple weeks and a death in the family. Already working on a couple other stories, so will hopefully have some more stuff to share soon. Hope you like it :)_

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"I think it's time," Doc said as we all sat around the table at breakfast two days later. "The girl isn't waking up."

Everyone brightened instantly. We were all eager to have Wanda back with us. I felt a twinge of guilt again that the original inhabitant of the body was gone, but then reminded myself that we were now giving life to a body, not stealing it. Jamie was already out of his seat, bouncing eagerly, making everyone laugh. I watched as Ian carefully cradled the tank in his arms, eager to hold her again.

I stood, taking the hand that Jared offered as we all walked to the infirmary. Candy was already there, laying out the medicines she and Doc would need. We all already knew that Ian would be the one putting Wanda in; he wouldn't let anyone else touch her.

Dragging Jamie out of the way, I moved to Doc's desk to grab the mirror we had waiting._ I hope she likes this body. It will be so different than what she's used to_. I glanced over at Ian, he was right beside Doc waiting for the go ahead to remove Wanda from the tank and insert her into her new body. Doc nodded, stepping back to give Ian room. I had to hold Jamie back; he kept trying to move closer to see Wanda in her true form.

"I just wanna see."

"You can see from here," I scolded. "They need room to work."

"She's so pretty!" He exclaimed once she was out of the tank and in Ian's hands.

He gently guided her to the body, everyone watching closely as she slid in and began attaching herself to her new host. Ian stepped back so Doc could heal the wound, and they carefully turned her over. We were all silent as we waited for her to wake up. Only Candy and I knew that she would be adjusting to the new body, and living the last memories of the previous soul. _The beginning will look like the end_, I recalled, repeating Wanda's thoughts of her time with me. I shuddered a bit, remembering throwing myself down that elevator shaft in an attempt to not be taken. I wondered what Wanda was thinking, seeing her previous host talking to her new one.

Ian began speaking softly to her, holding her now tiny hand in his much larger one. As her eyes began to flutter open, we all crowded around the bed. I finally let myself truly be happy once she opened her eyes. After I greeted my sister, I leaned back in to Jared, and took Jamie by the hand. My family was complete.

I felt myself smile for the first time in over a month as I heard Doc speak. Finally, we could take Wanda out of this little tank, and give her a body again. I could really hold her again, kiss her, and tell her how much I loved her. _After setting her straight about trying to kill herself,_ I added, though I knew I wouldn't stay mad at her. Once she was back with me, I was sure the anger and misery of the last month would most likely vanish. I led the way through the tunnels to the hospital, everyone following closely behind.

I stood closely by the cot, ready to remove Wanda and place her inside her new body. It would truly be just her; she wouldn't have to worry about upsetting Melanie, or having to fight against anyone. So strange having a body that won't let me use it, she'd said once. _Now we could have a real relationship_, I thought, smiling.

"Ready, Ian?" Doc said, pulling me out of my thoughts. I nodded, setting the tank carefully on the cot before warming my hands. I opened the container, and very slowly and carefully, lifted her out. Her true beauty still amazed me; I don't know how she thought I would ever crush her. I watched as she entered the body, attaching herself, and then stepped back so Doc could heal her. We turned her over gently, and I began speaking to her quietly. "Wanda. Come on, wake up." I held her tiny hand, thinking how small she was now. "You're not leaving me, understand? I love you." After a few minutes, I noticed her eyes moving slowly behind her eyelids. Her hand gripped mine lightly, so I gave a small squeeze back, encouraging her to wake up.

Eventually she opened her eyes, looking around at everyone in confusion. I felt a moment of pain as she berated Doc for not letting her die, wondering how upset she truly was. Once Melanie told her that we refused to let her go, she was silent for a few seconds, clearly thinking. She finally nodded, accepting that she was here to stay. We asked if she was happy, and I smiled when she finally said that she would be happy, here, with me.

I leaned in close, ignoring all the people around us, and kissed her, pouring my emotion into the action. "Good or bad?" I questioned, grinning.

"Good," she whispered back, clearly embarrassed.

_She blushes now, that is so cute. _"Good," I agreed with a nod, holding her close while we celebrated her return with our small family.

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_Sorry to end it so weird, I always screw up the endings. Hope you've enjoyed my little story. Thank you all for the lovely reviews and everyone that put me on alert. Getting those emails always make my day!_


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